Caviar with Ketchup

Wow. My first blog. Ever. I have written this opening sentence in 15 different ways and none of them are good enough so I’m just going to leave this here.  Which is fitting, since the entirety of my blog is about being less than perfect. Accepting less than perfect. Seeing the beauty in less than perfect. Sometimes much, much less than perfect.   This is all in fun.  When you read about my struggles, please, please laugh. Someone should.  I’ll be over here in the corner with a box of tissues and a jar of Nutella.

So lets start with some basic get to know you games!  I have 2 kids. Well, 3. Actually 6. And a grandson.  I know I’m already coming across a little flaky, let me just assure you; it’s about to get much, much worse. 2 years ago (next week!) I took my 2 sons and elbowed my way into a new family.  My husband has 4 kids, but only 1 kid is a kid… So we have a pretty good age spread; 29, 24, 24, 14, 11, and 6.  Did I mention the oldest has a 6-year-old?  Just call me Gram-gram.  Can you imagine the drama that comes from each of those ages?  Or any of them mashed together?  Or ALL OF THEM?!  If you answered Yes, then I need you to write a blog and send it directly to me so I can feel smug about how together my life is in comparison. Unless you are one of those parents that have 10 kids with assigned chores and no TV’s in your house and everything runs like clockwork….Well you aren’t reading this because you wouldn’t be caught dead with me. For everyone else: buckle up.

I’m writing for every parent that has sent their kid to school in December in shorts because they just can’t have that argument again. For every father who watched their child pour ketchup over a perfectly grilled filet. For every mother that has watched a YouTube video of a GROWN ADULT eating candy, and commented favorably on his performance so that you can have something in common with your 11-year-old.  Has your child talked you into serving pie for breakfast? Have you come to terms with the idea that a clean room is one without rotting food?  Are you in hiding from the PTA? I’m here for you. We’ll get through this together. And maybe, just maybe, we can laugh about it.

 

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caviarwithketchup

I'm a mom, a manager, an employee. A maid, driver, scheduler, cook, parole officer. I've been a married mom, a single mom, and now a remarried mom with a giant blended family. I laugh a lot. I cry with some regularity. I'm raw and real and unfiltered.

4 thoughts on “Caviar with Ketchup”

  1. Oh my goodness…You Tube. That’s how I know I’m old, my son shows me things and he’s laughing hysterically and I smile thinking…why is that funny! I can’t wait to hear more 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for the read!
    “Life is a shipwreck. We must learn to sing in the life boats”…a butchered Voltaire quote that is my mantra.

    Like

    1. I can’t stand it…I was too lazy to open a new tab and look up the quote (which I would then have to verify-too hard)…but I BELIEVE the correct quote is: “Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”

      Like

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